Growing Away from Others' Expectations and Turning Inwards

This is a bit of a sad post. I realize that growing up, we will have a ton of challenges. One thing is, we have to prove ourselves, not for others but for our own definite sense of achievement. It would be nice to have people supporting us as well—friends and family who do not think less of us no matter what we do.

We spend our lives looking for that perfect companion, but I believe we ought to spend more time on building ourselves up. To strive for greatness is not something to be frowned upon, and yet many people will try to hide it in case people mistake their ambition as a sign of arrogance.

A lot of people would be willing to tell you that you would have what it takes and what you need to succeed. All that is left is putting hard work into it and make sure that you are not unnecessarily burning bridges. However, I do not think for a second that hard work itself is enough. What you need first and foremost, is character. That will take years, even decades sometimes to find. 

Character includes finding the honesty to speak one's mind without modifying it to suit others' tastes, persistence to follow one's voice, and ability to remain steadfast as one finds enormous challenges from others who may have few things to say about one's life.

A lot of the things we spend time on, and we have the right mind to think they matter, do not come by without a set of predispositions or biases. We covet certain things, desire certain lifestyles, and pick our preferences. It is not any other person's business.

We may feel sad or unworthy to be pushed aside simply because we cannot connect with somebody else. If we are not compatible with someone, we are not going to be able to stay with them without compromising our ideals and values.

Here I am choosing my own pace. I need to refine my voice and find the persistence I need to continue on this path. I suppose this entry may read as a battle cry, even though it is sort of depressing to let it out, or having to let it out in the first place.

Whatever we do, be it writing or skiing or cave-climbing or dancing or teaching, it must be freed from anyone's expectations or our own cruel interpretations of what it means to succeed. The world is always willing to give us a set of criteria (or limitations) if we let it. 

It is important to separate what we want to achieve for ourselves versus what others want for us to achieve. We may have heard it many times before, but rarely do we take this advice to heart. Like every advice in life, one has to go through the same experience oneself before one can truly understand the necessity of it.

I suppose at the end what I wanted to say is that, we hear a lot of other voices which may influence our own. Some may be given in full sincerity, some others in haste, or worse still in jest. After all of that, we still need to filter what we hear on a daily basis—and we must not forget our core, honest, and true self. 

In the words of a pop culture anthem: Be yourself and you will never lose.